August 2016 * Survived to Thrive by Momma Berna

Pump Me Up

A few weeks ago, I underwent a trial to see if I was a candidate for a Baclofen pump As the results were positive, I elected to ahead and go through with the surgery. The doctors told me, that there was going to be a two to three month wait to get something scheduled. I was eager, but was not bothered by the wait time. I was going to use that time to work-out, strengthen my core and just get stronger all over, After all, I will not be able to exercise the way I am used to for 7 weeks after the surgery and there will be no pool exercises till the incision heals (one month).

i will miss Aqua Zumba! — I will miss Aqua Zumba!

One week after the trial, the doctor called and told me that there is an available time on August 25th, a mere three weeks after the trial! I think I mumbled something that goes ” Like, this August? In like two weeks?.” The doctor replied that I can have the rest of the day to think about it and to let him know the next day what my answer would be. I panicked a little, thinking I let go of an opportunity. I talked things over with Armando and we both agreed to give it a go.

The day of the surgery came, we check-in and get settled into the pre-op room. As soon as I get into my hospital gown, the nurse told me that the surgery time was moved forward, The surgery in front of me got cancelled.

I look too happy for someone who is about to go under the knife. The drugs must be working already.

Waking up, I am now officially battery operated. The battery would last seven years, but I would need a “top off” every few months.

To be honest, I expected to “run” out of the hospital. I didn’t expect the pain that I was going to be in. I knew going in that I will be given the smallest dose to start with but it was still disappointing that the result is not instantaneous. It was like opening a much desired Christmas present, but the major parts are still missing. The medicine will be slowly adjusted until it reaches the best therapeutic dose. I now need to work much harder as I have been given a major tool for recovery. I do have to take it easy for a few weeks to let the “equipment” settle into my body. This next few weeks I am only allowed to walk, lift no more than 5 lbs, no twisting and no reaching up, no sit-ups and no jumping. Yikes! I really have to watch what I eat to stay healthy.I will be seeing my physical therapist soon, so I will work with her on safe and effective workouts.

One of the nurses asked me what my plans are now that I have the implant. I had only told my close friends and family this goal:, I plan on running the NYC Marathon in 2017. I will enter the lottery in January, and if I do not get picked through the lottery, I will enter as a fund-raiser. I heard a saying once (not really 100% sure of the words) that goes “If you let your intentions known,the universe will conspire to make it happen” So here you go universe I have set forth my intention: I will run 26.2 miles of NYC!

Much Love,

MommaBerna

Balance:

I had just finished my balance exercises. Somehow, during the stroke my brain’s wiring got all jumbled up and balance was one of the things that got fried. This is true for many stroke survivors. So as much as I can, I have added balance exercises to my daily routine. I look kinda funny standing in a corner eyes closed, wobbling precariously. Brain rewiring is not a glamorous job.

Balance has always been elusive to me (heck, I can’t even balance my checkbook. HA) I look really funny riding a bike. My boys always teased me about getting training wheels. As I relearn how physically balance, I am also learning how to have balance in other aspects of my life. I am now a much slowed down version of myself, so planning and balance is essential. There was a time where I could get caught up in reading a book for hours. And still be able to be ready to get the boys to where they need to go. Now, I need to be cognizant of the amount of time I do things. I can spend a good of time reading, watching t.v. or surfing the internet, but those activities will not help me get better. I put in time to workout, write, work on my hand and fingers and stretching (this helps with getting my movement back). I need to once again be a productive member of society. How do I fit all of these in one day? How do you keep balance in your life?

Much Love,

Mommaberna

Keep your Hands and Legs Inside the Ride…

I love roller coasters. In amusement parks, I would be the one to coax my boys to ride a coaster. The last time we were at Disney’s California Adventure, I had strong armed the boys to ride California Screamin’ with me. We ended up riding it three times.

To say that stroke recovery is a roller coaster ride is making a huge under statement. This StrokerCoaster is a ride that I did not sign up for and yet I cannot seem to get off. There are days when I feel the ultimate high of the first loop. . These are days where I feel strong, energetic and clear headed. These moments could last for days or hours. These are the days that I hope would last forever.

Then there are days when I wake up and I am in so much pain physically and emotionally, getting out of bed is a monumental task. This ride drop sometimes happen when I least expect it. Like last night. I had a great time watching a movie with a couple of my friends. I laughed till I had tears and maybe even snorted a little. On the way home, I got hit with an overwhelming sense of sadness. I was so incredibly sad that when I got home, all my energy was gone. I woke up this morning feeling more positive. I will try and hold on that feeling the rest of the day.

I know that I will be on this ride for a very long time. I know there will be good days and there will be bad days. I will try to do my best to appreciate the good days and take the bad days as easy as possible. In the meantime, I’ll sit back, fasten my seatbelt and keep my arms and legs inside the ride at all times.

Much Love,

MommaBerna